Where It All Began

My life story is one of God’s grace.  From start to finish, my only unfailing source of confidence has been God, “who began a good work in [me],” and how He “will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ” (Philippians 1:6, ESV here and hereafter).

God’s plans for me began long before I was born.  Paul reminds us how God “chose us in him [Christ] before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him” (Ephesians 1:4).  We can also extrapolate from Jeremiah’s experience in Jeremiah 1:5 of how God told him, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you”—and apply these precious truths to our own lives.  In similar fashion, Paul tells us about how God has “set [us] apart before [we were] born, and…called [us] by his grace,” (Galatians 1:15). 

Whatever I have experienced along the way fits into this broader plan of God’s call on my life and how He has been at work in me, first bringing me into a right relationship with Him and then shaping and disciplining me for His own purposes.  He has consistently been at work making me “holy and blameless before Him,” as Paul phrased it in Ephesians 1:14.  This progress has been slow and not always easy or comfortable, but like with all of His children, He remains faithful and committed.

Early Years

God gave me the gift of growing up in a family and local church where God and His Word were valued and seen as both necessary and life-giving. One of my earliest memories was going to church.  It was not too long after my sister’s birth (she was three and a half years younger than me) and apparently my parents were trying to reestablish their pattern of attending church, now in a new church home and as a family with children: I was a preschooler at the time and my sister was a newborn infant.  Even at that young age, I knew that church was significant and meaningful to my parents.  My spiritual heritage wasn’t necessarily as deep or as consistent as it might have been, but it was real and genuine.  Another early memory involves spontaneously praying to God when I was a boy of 4 or 5.  I will always remember I was in my own room by myself simply talking to God as any child might talk with his or her parents.  In hindsight, I am fully persuaded I was praying specifically and unquestionably to the God of the Bible whom I had heard about from my parents and at church.  For most of my childhood I had a plaque on my wall that summed up what I was learning about the Bible; it read, “Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.  Psalm 119:105.”  I grew up never doubting God’s existence or the trustworthiness of his Word.  Looking back now, I consider these experiences as special gifts from God.

Another landmark event in my childhood took place when I was twelve.  It was in response to some evangelistic services held at our local church led by a guest speaker, Merrill Tenney, a professor from Wheaton College.  I went home one of those nights and prayed specifically “to receive Christ.”  Was this the moment of my actual conversion?  God knows.  Certainly by this time, I had a clearer understanding of the work of Christ in accomplishing our salvation and how I needed to receive Him by faith than I had had as a young boy when I had first spontaneously prayed to God.  Yet for me, there was still so much more to learn.   Coming to faith has always felt to me more like a process or an ongoing series of steps than a single, once-for-all event.  Over the years I have continued to learn more about the depth of my own spiritual neediness before God, the marvel of His grace, and of the wonder of Christ’s willingness to die for me and thus pay the price for His gift of new life.

I have never doubted that each of us needs to cross a line when we become new creatures in Christ by being “born again” (or “born from above,” as this phrase can also be translated).  Romans 3:9-20 tells us that none of us are inherently righteous or by nature seek after God—so we all begin outside of a proper relationship with God.  Faith and new life always involve a miracle of God’s direct intervention when He reaches down deep inside us and gives us new life.  Some of us may not know specifically when that marvelous event took place.  Was it earlier when I first prayed to God on my own as a boy of 4 or 5, or was it later on when I had a clearer understanding of the role of Christ in securing my salvation. Since I came to faith as a child, I am in that category of not being sure of the exact date and time of my conversion.  Thus, I don’t have a clear before-and-after contrast in my life of what my life was like before knowing Christ versus after Christ.  The important thing for me is that this miracle of new life took place.  I know beyond any shadow of a doubt how different my life is now than it would have been if God had left me to go my own way.  For me, my conversion involved a focus on God, rather on myself or what I was thinking or feeling at the time.  I know I experienced a gradually unfolding awareness of the greatness of God, the truthfulness of His Word, the wonder of knowing Christ, the atoning power of His death, and how God has called me to live a new life of faith in Him.

I learned early on that God was at work in my life even in times of trial and difficulty.  My father’s death from a heart attack shortly after my thirteenth birthday was undoubtedly one of the biggest events in my growing up years—and one that in many ways forever changed the course of my life.  For me, this meant the absence of a significant role model and a growing feeling that I needed to depend upon myself as I sought to find my way in life.  At times, this feeling of independence seemed to cross over from a proper sense of self-confidence to an over-confidence in myself and my own abilities.  Yet I could never doubt that my earthly father had been a clear model of a growing Christian, and I knew that God promised to be a “Father of the fatherless” (Psalm 68:5). 

Most of my growing up years—indeed virtually all my life—has been characterized by slow, hesitant, and often faltering spiritual growth.  God’s workings in my life have usually been almost imperceptible to me, but in hindsight at least, there is a basic reality in my relationship with God that has been, and still is, transforming my life.  There were certainly occasional times when I was confronted more directly with tokens of God’s grace in my life, but days, weeks, and months often went by without any apparent change or advances in spiritual growth.  Looking back now, I believe I am a slow learner when it comes to spiritual things.  A lack of clear God-centered teaching and fellowship with others who were actively growing in their faith undoubtedly contributed to my own lack of more consistent growth in my relationship with God.

Life Direction

During high school I had a clear sense of vocational direction: I had definite gifts in math and science, so I planned to be an engineer.  I spent my first year of college pursuing this dream.  In many ways I enjoyed the challenge of being exposed to modern, cutting edge technology.  There was a certain thrill in using the then state-of-the-art Univac 1107 computer—a building-size computer with less computing power than our cell phones today.  (This was back in the days of paper punch cards in 1966-1967 at Case Institute of Technology.)  But before long, I also knew beyond any shadow of a doubt that God had other plans for me, and I transferred to Gordon College, where I majored first in philosophy and then psychology, as part of my search for a clearer understanding of truth and knowing myself.  My first year there providentially overlapped with one of R. C. Sproul’s two years of teaching at Gordon, so I learned much of my basic theology and biblical studies from him.  At the end of college, I was again at a crossroad and at the very last moment began that fall as a special student at Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary during their first year on their new Hamilton Campus (which is now in the process of being sold).  I characterize that time as one where God was leading me one step at a time, like my childhood wall plaque had said about God’s Word being a lamp for my feet.  Lamps, especially old-fashioned ones, never shone very far ahead, and I know I could rarely see beyond the immediate next step.  Yet throughout this period of time, God was calling me to live by faith in Him, even though I didn’t know where He was leading.

Part way through seminary, God gave me a fresh love for the local church and a sense of calling to vocational ministry, so I transferred into the M.Div. program to prepare for some area of pastoral ministry.  In my final year at seminary, two other things happened that changed my life: (1) I met my future wife Helen, we fell in love and got married shortly after I finished my last coursework in January, and (2) I began looking into ministry opportunities after graduation.  Almost before we knew it, Helen and I were settled into a small community in upstate New York, close to where I had grown up as a boy, where I began serving as pastor in a small Baptist church.  Pastoring was a stretching, learning experience for me.  I think it normally is for most people, but for me the learning curve seemed especially steep.  My sense is that every pastor has a different set of strengths and weaknesses—I know I did.  Before long, I realized that my strongest gifts and interests were in the area of teaching, and that God was leading me to pursue further training in Bible and theology.  I began a Th.M. program (in New Testament) at Westminster Theological Seminary with one child in our family and eventually completed that and then a Ph.D. (in Hermeneutics and Biblical Interpretation) again at Westminster, only by then we had four children.  For most of that time, I also pastored a small, inner-city, half black/half white church, which was filled with many gracious and loving people who were another special gift of God to me.  Each term I took as many courses as time and money allowed, so both programs stretched out far longer than usual.  But I enjoyed the mixture of study with real life—and found that they complemented each other.  Toward the end of my own study program, I also began teaching as an adjunct at Seminary of the East in January 1987, and before long was half-time and then full-time.  I left the pastoral ministry in 1992 and moved to Massachusetts in order to teach full-time at the Seminary’s New England center.  Teaching as Professor of Biblical Studies turned into my life work: first at Seminary of the East and then, after their merger with Bethel College and Seminary (St. Paul, MN–now Bethel University), at what became Bethel Seminary of the East.  Over the years I also taught as an adjunct at Gordon-Conwell and still later for five years at a new lay institute here in MA some friends and I started called New England Christian Study Center. I have also served in various ways at our local church—most recently as an elder and occasional supply preacher at various nearby churches.

Gratefulness and Anticipation

Some of God’s greatest gifts to me have been in the area of marriage and family.  Helen has been a faithful, supportive, encouraging, and loving wife for forty-eight years now (as of 2023).  Using her own giftings, she has proofread almost everything I have written over the years and given me invaluable insights into improving what I was trying to express.  She has truly been a special gift to me.  Helen and I have been blessed with four children and now eight grandchildren currently scattered over ten time zones.  But God’s best gift has come in the person of His Son Jesus Christ and the new life I have experienced through Him.  Like I mentioned earlier, growing as a Christian has often been a slow and faltering experience for me, with many setbacks and struggles along the way, but God has been faithful and continues His work of transforming grace in my life.

I have now retired twice: first when my last full-time teaching job ended when Bethel Seminary of the East closed in 2014, and then a second time when I stepped down from my recent ministries as spiritual formation director at our local church at that time.  I have two goals for this current period of semi-retirement: to grow in my own walk with the Lord, and to share with others what I am learning in whatever ways I can.  In particular, I want to grow in my love for God the Father, His Son, and His Spirit, as well as for His Word, His Gospel, His Church, and all He is doing around this world.  At this point in my life, I want to give special attention to growing in my love for Christ and the gospel.  This present website ministry is an outgrowth of this desire.

I rejoice in the goodness and grace of God.  He remains faithful in all the ups and downs of life, and I look forward to spending an eternity with Him in a new heaven and new earth.  In the meantime, I am committed to being a life-long learner and to serving Him in whatever ways He opens up.  To Him be the glory!