Recently I turned 75 years old. This was so amazing to me. As I say this, I am aware of two balancing truths: old age is a gift denied to many (as an older friend used to say), and I realize many others have had this experience of turning 75 before me. But this is me in my life. I am now older than I have ever been before—in one sense this is always true for every one of us each day of our lives—but I feel it more now than ever before.
When I turned 50, I was so excited and felt so blessed by God that I sat down and wrote out a list of goals for the next 50 years. I felt that if the first 50 years had been so good because of God’s grace, the next 50 (or whatever portion of them God might give me) would have to be even better.
Now I am 75 and it is time to pause and reflect again on my life. I have now reached halfway between 50 and 100 as well as halfway between what is described in Psalm 90:10 as the proverbial “threescore years and ten and if by reason of strength they be fourscore” (KJV). Three things stand out to me at this point in my life. These are more reflections than goals, but still there are some guidelines here regarding how I want to spend my remaining days.
(1) a theme of thankfulness to God for His many blessings in my life. The older I get the more thankful I am for all God’s providential dealings in my life. And key among these providences of God have been my wife and family. God tells us, “a prudent wife is from the LORD” (Proverbs 19:14) and “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the LORD” (Proverbs 18:22). Without a shadow of a doubt, one of God’s greatest blessings has been the wife of my youth and now my life companion over the past 48 years (and counting), my dear wife, Helen. God also tells us, “Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward” (Psalm 127:3). According to my way of calculating, I now have 16 “children”: 4 biological children, their 4 spouses, and a current total of 8 grandchildren. And God only knows how many miscarriages along the way. (Since I believe that life begins at conception, I also believe that God knows about each miscarriage and that these young lives that never made it to physical birth are still in the mind and heart of God.) I believe God planned each of these lives and providentially brought them into my life (along with all kinds of other friends and acquaintances as well as more extended family members) all for His glory and His blessing to me. Nothing ever takes place by accident, but always according to His plan.
There have been some challenging times along the way to be sure. But still my life has been easier than most. Every day we read about another country where Christians are persecuted and pray for them. We also know people personally who have been in great difficulties over the years, and again we pray each day for all those God lays on our hearts. But I think what stands out to me the most in this area of thankfulness is not simply having lived a relatively easy and comfortable life, but seeing God at work in so many of the situations and circumstances of my life. At the end of the day, it is His faithfulness to me that encourages me the most.
(2) yes, there are regrets as well. I think my biggest regret is that I am a slow learner, especially in spiritual areas, including not only knowing God, but also knowing myself and being able to relate with others as I should and more consistently point them to the Lord. Having experienced God’s love, grace, and forgiveness, as well as His transforming power in my life, helps me accept myself. Now I want to try to use the remaining days God gives me in ways that honor and glorify Him.
(3) a continuing sense of stewardship. God has so blessed me in so many ways, including special opportunities to study and learn more about Him over the years. I feel that even in the last couple years I have been learning more about God than ever before. Consequently, I feel a strong sense of stewardship to try to pass on to others at least some of the lessons God has been teaching me. Today I happened to be thinking about Romans 15:20 and Paul’s conviction he should not try to “build on someone else’s foundation,” but launch forth in new ministry areas. Perhaps even now God has something new and different for me. After all, Abraham was 75 when he first heard God’s call and left for the Promised Land, and Moses was 80 when he began his life’s ministry of leading the people of Israel out of Egypt and toward the Promised Land. Who knows what God has for any of us in the future? Ever since I first retired nine years ago, I have tried to pursue two goals: (1) to seek to grow in my own walk with the Lord, and (2) to share whatever I learn about God with others in whatever ways I can. I plan to continue to pursue these two life goals in whatever time I have left.
Yet even on my birthday I was also reminded of the shortness of life. Recently my wife and I were blessed by an online message by Harry Reeder recorded at the Ligonier’s recent annual conference. What stood out to me about him was the clarity and power of his message—and the fact that he was also 75 years old. Yet in the providence of God, God called him home the morning of my birthday through a tragic auto accident. The other news I heard on my birthday was that Tim Keller, a fellow student with me many years ago when I was in seminary, had decided to return home to die under hospice care as the final event in his three-year battle with pancreatic cancer. (He died the next day and entered the presence of the Lord Jesus, whom he loved and longed to go and see in person.) I had never met Pastor Reeder and I had not been in touch with Tim for decades now, so I wasn’t close to either individual. I also know that people of any age can die, but these were my contemporaries (Tim is actually about two years younger than I am now that I look up his bio). Still the fact that I learned about both of them at the same time on my birthday left me feeling sobered and impressed once again with the shortness of life. Consequently, I have a fresh desire to make the remaining days of my life count for the Lord.
Our one confidence in all this is that the best is yet to come. This is always true for all of God’s people—either here in this present life or in the life to come. So, we have everything to look forward to, regardless of our present circumstances. God is always good. The older I get, the more my eyes are on Him. What about you?
Soli Deo Gloria